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August 24, 2008

Official TechEd NZ drinking game

With a week or so to go until TechEd New Zealand (and don't forget to register for CodeCamp 2008 too), here is the all-important official* drinking game for the event.

Every time a demo crashes: take 1 drink.

Every time a demo doesn't crash: take 2 drinks.

TechFest: take 6-10 drinks.  Be restrained: you will need to be up early tomorrow to find which first-session speakers are most hung-over and to ask them very complicated and demanding questions VERY LOUDLY.  (LATE BREAKING RULES CHANGE: Apparently I'm in the first-session slot the next morning. Therefore, the new rule for TechFest is: either (a) take 6-10 drinks and go to Kirk's session in the morning, or (b) take 20+ drinks and wake up in a bus station outside Otorohanga wearing nothing but your delegate pass, somebody else's socks and a strategically superglued trial DVD of SQL Server 2008.)

Every time a Microsoft speaker says "innovation," "community" or "super excited": take 1 drink.  After taking 5 such drinks in a row, shout "Bingo!"

Every time a 200 level presentation includes a demonstration containing the phrase "Hello world": take 1 drink and yell "I told you not to call me 'world'!"

Every time someone tries to interest you in their "alternative" OS setup (OpenBSDnix Hairy Hippie X... Windows in a virtual machine... honestly, it's so much faster, except that you can only resize windows by emailing a Perl script to an X server in Lithuania...): down in one, so you have an excuse to "pop to the bar, I'll be right back."

If a speaker offers you a job: take 5 drinks and spend the rest of the conference offering to crush your present colleagues like bugs.

Every time Scott Hanselman mentions babies: buy Andrew Peters a drink.

Every time a Mindscape director uses the phrase "Good times": take 1 drink and do the Mexican wave.

Every time a presenter explains how to embed the Silverlight control into a Web page: take 3 drinks.  If TechEd 2007 is anything to go by, then by the end of the conference, you will need them.

* It's not really official, of course.  The official one would be called "ALC201: Best Practices for Rules-Based Alcohol Consumption at the Microsoft TechEd 2008 New Zealand Conference Event," would require you to fill out an evaluation form after every glass with questions like "How has this half a pint of lukewarm Lion Red changed your perception of Microsoft?", and would be quashed by Microsoft's lawyers for fear of liability suits for liver damage.

August 24, 2008 in Software | Permalink


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Mate, this is just hilarious! See you there.

Posted by: Thiago Almeida at Aug 27, 2008 4:46:41 PM

new addiction courtesty of #tenz8.. every time Scott Hanselman mentions poop take one drink...

Posted by: laura kennerley at Sep 1, 2008 6:09:28 PM

Hey, at least, how many drinks did you have on the tech fest night? :P

Posted by: Jacqui at Sep 18, 2008 4:56:02 PM